Why reflection makes us more effective
"Reflection is a mode of inquiry: a deliberate way of systematically recalling and examining experiences."
Jo Twiselton of Twist Consultants Ltd. has practiced self-reflection for many years.
She is an avid note-taker and uses her reflections in her own personal and business development as well as with her clients who are often managing complex change projects in large organisations.
Jo led a discussion with our members on the benefits of reflecting on our behaviours, thoughts, attitudes, motivations, and desires.
You put the phone down from a call, hop into a meeting, come out of that and crack on with the next job, meet someone for lunch, report back to a client, check your cashflow, chase some invoices, go home and catch up with your family, make dinner, watch some TV, go to bed, wake up and do it all again.
- When do you look at what you've done and figure out what's working, what's not and if you're enjoying any of it?
- When do you say "no more" or "I could have done better"?
- When do you tell yourself "well done"?
Why Should We Practice Self-Reflection?
One one level we can evaluate our responses to particular circumstances and events or people and get better at handling them and on another level we can evaluate the overall trajectory of our lives. We can see where we're headed, if we're happy with that and make adjustments as necessary.
When Should We Practice Self-Reflection?
It can be useful to do it for a few minutes each day or each week. Think about what has been on your mind, what is taking up your headspace and write it down.
It can also be helpful to do an end of month and end of year review looking back over your notes to see what you've learned.
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” Anaïs Nin
These are some of the takeaways from the discussion:
✨ Getting into a routine of reflecting on each day at the same time is a powerful thing to do for both personal and business development.
✨ Asking yourself the same set of questions: what you did well and what you could do better or differently or what you will start, continue and stop and writing down the answers provides lots of learning.
✨ Thor A Rain explained how booking a regular appointment with "me, myself and I" as an end of year exercise and using the same book for notes means that its easy to check back on previous thoughts. This can be in a favourite coffee shop with favourite treats as an added incentive!
✨ Consistency is key – the more you build reflection in, the easier it gets and the more regularly you’re likely to do it.
✨ We need a ‘ingestion’ period to reflect on what we learn so looking back at the notes for a week or month can sometimes reveal deeper insights.
✨ Having a strong ‘why bother’ reason for running our business that goes beyond earning money can help us focus on the things that really matter.
✨ Keeping a file of nice things that clients say is particularly useful as a reminder of our value when things get a bit tough.
✨ Following an action plan, the Drive Quest or the 12-week year process all offer opportunities for reflection on things we've learned during a specific period of time.
✨ If you think you need to improve on something, e.g get better at finishing things, writing down everything you finish as you finish it gives an insight into how good you really are - a tip from Susie Tobias.
✨ Having an accountability buddy helps to get us into a routine and thinking out loud is a great way to answer our own questions.
Jo says her big takeaway from the discussion is that everyone knows the value reflection can bring as learning but it’s about making sure we make the time for it not waiting until we find the time.
Jo shares three takeaways from her reflections every week on LinkedIn so look out for her posts and get inspired!
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Jo Twiselton helps leaders deliver healthy & sustainable change in their organisations, minimising disruption and maximising engagement. https://www.twistconsultants.co.uk/
Challenges of networking and neurodiversity
How do people with neurodiverse conditions cope with networking?
There used to be a joke that you know when an introvert is networking because they look at your shoes instead of their own. Introversion isn't a neurodiverse/neurodivergent condition but I mention it because so many people find networking challenging so being aware of this helps us find ways to give more people the chance to connect and build great relationships.
Nathan Whitbread is a Neurodivergent Coach and offers some great insights into the challenges people with neurodiverse conditions face when networking. I think they're challenges that a great many of us face and his ideas can be applied equally to neurotypical people. See what you think:
Walking into a room full of strangers that you are supposed to be interacting with can be incredibly daunting. Add on top of this anxiety around who you are and how you communicate and suddenly there is a bit of a recipe for potential problems. Welcome to neurodiversity and networking.
As a neurodivergent person, I have always found networking a little bit challenging as it seems everyone else knows exactly what they are doing. So here are some things that I feel can help make what is a tricky area into something far more manageable and something you can achieve at.
Being ready to talk
The best spontaneous conversations are well practised!
This may sound like a completely bizarre statement, but the truth is if you want to be spontaneous and have something to say you need to practice. This could be as simple as practising engaging with strangers in conversation or just being ready to start more conversations with your friends about topics that you think they may be interested in.
Asking questions that make connections
With networking the key thing is finding out what the other person wants, not telling them what you want. I would encourage you to start conversations by asking questions about how you can help. For example, you might want to ask:
- why someone is there?
- or what challenges they are experiencing, that you could help with?
Telling real punchy stories
Think about your own stories, the things you have done, the people you have met and how they can be relevant to the people you are talking to now. No one can resist a story, especially when they help them solve problems. When telling stories it’s important that they are punchy and to the point and that while you’re telling them you are seeking feedback to make sure they are relevant to the person you’re talking to. (if their eyes glaze over or their face changes make sure you ask them if this is useful – if in doubt ask!)
For example, you might have a story about a recent client (you do not have to use the client’s name) or a problem that you solved as part of your work.
I would always recommend using stories as they illustrate not only the benefits and strengths that you can bring, but they also bring you alive as a person.
Being ok with who you are
Believe it or not, you are the very best person at being you, and there is no one else quite like you. Do not try and be someone else, be yourself that’s why people want to get to know you. It is important to celebrate who you are as well in terms of your attitude towards yourself. I can assure you that you have value, things to offer, you do things other people cannot do and you are the very best at being you. – Be yourself!
It takes a village to successfully network
What I mean by this is that contacts you already have will provide you with information that allows you to connect with others. This will help you engage in conversations and communicate better with new connections. No person is an island, utilise people you know, learn from them, and ask for feedback.
Drive, the Partnership Network has been this place for me.
What can hold you back
Mindset is key, when getting involved in networking start with what you want to achieve then ask others what they want and see if there is space to build something. People never stop talking about what they need. If you can tap into that you will network effectively because you will be able to help them find solutions for their problems.
Do not be the limit to your network
Research shows that we love to talk to people like us but unfortunately there is only a subset of the human population that are anything like us. If you are looking to network the chances are your skills and experience are going to be more useful to people that are nothing like you. Don’t be afraid because people are different they still breathe and have a pulse just like you.
Be proactive
You are not an impostor you have every right to share what you are doing and mix with others to find common ground. You need to accept no one knows what you know the way you know it, and no one will ever know it unless you interact and have real conversations with them. Also do not be afraid to ask for help there are a lot of people out there in a similar position who want to help and see you succeed.
Find allies and champions
Allies and champions are vital especially if you have got questions about things like, what is the value you bring?
These people will often know you best and can help you cement this value. They will also be the people that open doors for you and invite you to new places, and you will be able to support them. This is not an awkward thing to do, it just starts with a conversation
So do not be afraid to ask!
What do you think?
Do Nathan's tips apply to you? Do we all have our own quirks and insecurities around networking? What's your favourite tip?
If you would like some help please get in touch with Nathan.
This post was originally published on The Neurodivergent Coach blog.
Make your life a little bit brighter!
Who would have thought that your greatest guide in life could be a puppet?
When we're running a business, we can sometimes get stuck in a certain way of thinking.
A light hearted and playful approach can often get through negative barriers and encourage new ways of thinking.
When we're asked to predict what plans we have, options to take and decisions to make, we need to use our imagination.
Jo Bryant and The Hands On Company transform lives through creative puppetry and Jo has adapted the way she works to make this on-line workshop.
Please download the workbook and use the Sock Puppet or Origami Puppet instructions (or borrow a soft toy with a face) to enjoy the full effect of the workshop!
Make Your Life a little Brighter Workbook
Sock Puppet ideas
Origami Puppet instructions
Get inspired, motivated and focused to make the most of opportunities and build your business.
How to be even more awesome
What’s stopping you from fulfilling your potential?
In most cases – you are!
‘Then, slowly but surely, an exhilarating sense of infinite opportunity stole through him; he felt as though he could have done anything, anything at all… …He got to his feet, smiling, brimming with confidence.’ From Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Charlotte Ashely-Roberts is a careers coach who has helped hundreds of people discover what they really want to do.
Charlie helps people work through mental or emotional blocks that hold them back, empowering them to develop the clarity, confidence and vision they need to get where they want to be.
In this workshop Charlie asks you to consider:
1. What does meeting your potential look and feel like to you?
2. Out of ten (with ten being your potential full realised) how much of your potential is realised?
3. What is one block that you’re placing in your own path?
Powerpoint presentation
Transcript of the workshop
What do people really think about you? A feedback exercise
More resources
Exercise: What are your core values?
Case Study: How re-evaluating your values can be life-changing.
There are a lot more resources on this topic on Charlie's blog at www.yourtimetogrow.com
How to source original images
Do you struggle to find original images for your website, social posts or other projects?
When you find them do you understand the legal implications of licensing, copyright, etc?
And what about sizing, file types and embeded information?
Help is at hand!
In this workshop, Berenice Smith shares ideas for sourcing original images and many other things you need to be aware of.
Berenice provides design for books and magazines, marketing material and websites, and loves to create logos and develop brands. She works with small and large B2B businesses, start-up companies, publishers and authors.
She also writes an invaluable blog and you can sign up to her newsletter at www.hellolovely.design
If you’re too busy to brief or your project feels overwhelming, Berenice can take care of the project management and deal with image research, buying illustration and schedules.
Common legal pitfalls for small businesses
Do you have client contracts, terms and conditions or other legal documents for your business?
If you haven't already done so, you'll find it useful to complete this Legal Health Check Survey before you watch the recording of the workshop.
Paul Chiy is a Barrister, Solicitor, Advocate, and Arbitrator at De Jure Chambers.
He offers a Virtual Legal Advice Service for small businesses, with the aim of making legal advice more affordable and accessible.
Paul shares some of the most common legal pitfalls small businesses experience and answers questions.
For more information on any of the issues raised here please contact Paul at DeJure Chambers
How to create content when you’re short of time
Should you write a blog post, tweet or post on Linked? Does creating content keep slipping down your task list? You know you need to be visible but you have client work to do, admin keeps turning up, and then there are the interruptions. You probably want to shut down your computer and take a […]
How to Network on LinkedIn
The key to networking on LinkedIn is to know what results you want.
Drive Founder Ann Hawkins has been using LinkedIn successfully since 2008.
She has 4,700 connections and over 5,000 followers.
Her profile is viewed approx 250 times a week and she regularly gets new clients from LinkedIn.
Why are you using LinkedIn?
Are you looking to connect with potential clients, a peer group, get referrals, learn about a specific topic, show how much you know about a specific topic or something else? Keep your purpose in mind when you post, comment or like other posts.
Who will find you?
- If you want to get found by potential clients or collaborators check your profile. LinkedIn is a great search engine for people both on and off the site. If someone searches for what you do, will your profile appear in the search results? Make sure you're using the right keywords.
- Check your contact details. If you have a website, add it to the details.
- Have a good professional, business like photo that shows your eyes. It's the first stage of creating trust.
Who to connect with?
There are endless debates about this and there is no right or wrong answer. You need to find what works for you and adjust your approach accordingly. Here are some things I've found work for me:
- Connect with people because you like them, want to learn from them, or because they have something interesting to say that doesn't turn into a sales pitch.
- Don't connect to give a sales pitch, connect to build relationships.
- If someone gives you a sales pitch seconds after connecting, remove the connection. Life's too short to be spammed.
How to behave
- If you're there to network, behave like you would in a face to face networking meeting. Don't pitch, have a conversation.
- Don't get sucked into arguments, disagreements, or click bait posts. IGNORE them.
- Don't get invoved in discussions with your peer group about how awful cleints are. There's no bigger turn-off for potential clients.
- DO get involved with people looking for answers or help and be relentlessly kind. Even if they don't turn into clients they're more likey to recommend you.
- Don't like a post that has a million other likes and comments - if you do it has no effect on the post but annoys the people who are following you who get notified every time you click 'like'. Be selective.
- If you don't have anything meaningful to add to the discussion keep quiet. Don't just add to the noise.
- Recognise that some people think causing disagreements is a good way to get attention. Don't get sucked in and don't do it yourself.
- Remember that more people are watching and listening than you will ever know. Always behave as though your ideal client is looking over your shoulder and watching how you interact with others.
What to post and how often
- How often you post depends on how much good content you can create. If you have a pile of great evergreen blog posts or articles you could post every day because no-one is likely to see them all.
- Posting to a self-imposed schedule when you have nothing interesting to say is not a good idea. Only post when you're sure you'll be adding something useful, interesting or helpful that your audience will enjoy.
- Try to avoid the cliched bandwagons of sporting events with a tenuous link to leadership or teamwork or similar over worked themes. Spurious links to national or religious holidays are also best avoided.
How to network on-line
Why is on-line networking different to face to face networking?
Answer: It isn't.
And yet, lots of people who would quite happily chat in a crowded room with a cup of coffee in their hand seem to struggle when that same conversation takes place on-line.
Our Drive Tribe networks on-line in our weekly check-ins, It's quite obvious that some people are much more comfortable with this than others and, lets face it, some just don't get it at all.
Why Bother?
First, why should we all strive to be better at this?
- Because it’s nice. It makes you feel connected; it makes others feel connected; it creates a general increase in net good on the planet. Win.
- You get support, great ideas that apply to your life and work, hell, you might even make friends, and it beats isolation hands down.
- You might help someone else, sometimes in profound ways. This raises your spirits and it’s good to feel you have value.
- When people feel you're interested in them, they're more likely to be interested in you.
- The more the members of the network know about what you do and who you are, the more likely they will recommend you if someone they know needs your services/product.
- This is a biggie. There are LOTS of potential clients on Linked\in. Many of them may never post anything but they lurk. They watch, they read and they notice. If you want to be noticed and make a favourable impression, this is the best, easiest, cheapest, most efficient way to get in front of a LOT of people. Seeing how you interact with others is a huge insight into the kind of person you are and your values. People buy you, not what you do, so this is a great opportunity to show who you really are.
Tips for Online Networking
- Set aside a few minutes every week just to interact with the tribe. The last thing you want to do is post and run. That's kinda like breezing into a room and shouting "Hey folks, here I am!" spraying around a bunch of business cards and leaving before you talk to anyone.
- Before you post your catch-up, ask yourself:
Do I need support with something? If you do, stop being so uptight and just ask.
Do I want congratulations? Its fine to brag a little - people need to hear good news!
Do I want commiserations? Its good to keep things real. Not everything goes to plan and you can't get support if you pretend everything is OK when its not.
Do I have an observation about my week that might be valuable to others?
Is there anyone I want to thank publicly?
Read other people's posts and comments and talk to them like they were in the same room as you.
If their comment is funny say so, if its sad, offer some sympathy.
If you don't understand it, ask for more details.
Remember that you can make people feel good by acknowledging they're there and everyone loves people who make them feel good.
The first time someone shows up, welcome them and ask them something about themselves or their business. If their LinkedIn profile shows some happy connection between you and them, say it.
Oh, and yeah: Give a damn. People know when you care and when you're just putting it on, so be the person you'd most like to turn up when you need help.
Competition v Collaboration
"There's no point in me joining Drive. You already have a graphic designer."
Well hold the phone!
We actually have a galaxy of graphic designers (who's counting?)
We also have a dazzle of developers, a phalanx of photographers, a covey of copywriters, a colony of coaches, a marvel of marketers, a pod of product developers, a troop of trainers, a clutch of consultants, a wealth of website developers and, well ... you get the idea.
We have only one garden designer but we're working on that 🌻
Our members believe that collaboration is much more powerful than competition.
There may be rare occasions when they are truly in competition with each other - but not really.
They each have different areas of expertise, different skill sets, different experience. Most of all, they have different personalities.
Even if someone has the same skills, experience and expertise, no-one will do the job exactly like you - and its you that people buy. Right?
More often than not they share their experience with each other, expand their skills, and recommend and refer each other. By working in collaboration they are stronger together than on their own.
If you want to be part of a great collaborative network, check out our membership details and get in touch!
Influencer Marketing - how it can power your dreams!
Martyn Sibley has been an influencer most of his life.
- Update - August 2021: Martyn has just been appointed a LinkedIn Changemaker
This is his opening statement: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/im-linkedin-changemaker-martyn-sibley/?trackingId=50DDtRrQTc%2BMgLRjocDQkg%3D%3D
He has inspired people by the way he lives his life, by the way he treats other people and by his amazing energy, sunny disposition, and achievements.
Martyn desribes himself as "a regular guy who happens to have a disability called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). This means I cannot walk, lift anything heavier than a book or shower myself. Nonetheless I run Disability Horizons, am the author of 'Everything is Possible', I have a Degree in Economics & a Masters in Marketing. I love adventure travels (including an epic visit to Australia), I have great people in my life (including my soul mate), I drive my own adapted car, run my own business, have flown a plane, enjoyed skiing & SCUBA diving, and live independently on earth." He is also the very happy owner of a Golden Labrador called Sunny.
Just to meet Martyn is to feel inspired, happy, and joyful but he has a very serious mission: to make the world a truly inclusive place. This year - just about the time the lockdown started - Martyn launched Purple Goat, a marketing agency to help brands understand the needs and wants of the disabled community.
In this workshop, Martyn explains how he used the principles of Influencer Marketing to power his dream, and how you can use the same principles to power yours!
What you'll take away from this workshop:
- create content that your audience engage more with
- amplify your brand to your exact target audience
- get a better ROI from your marketing spend
- support freelancers and small businesses (Influencers aren't actually rich and famous and self promoting - they have a mission just like you)
How to get referrals
Want more referrals for your business? This is the best way to get them!
Alex: How do I get more referals for my business without spending a lot of time and money?
Sunni: Networking!
Alex: Hmmm … you mean breakfast meetings and elevator pitches?
Sunni: No. I mean on-line networking groups. They’re bigger and faster.
Alex: So I should join a group and post links to my website and hope people will visit it?
Sunni: NO! Networking means getting to know people in the group. You comment on their posts, ask them questions, congratulate them when they're doing well, sympathise when they're not, have a laugh with them, be interested in what they do and who they are.
Alex: Sounds like its all about them and not about me.
Sunni: Exactly
Alex: Wait! What's this?
Sunni: It's a seagull. Seagulls swoop in on conversations, dump their message and leave - or worse - they only show up when there's something on offer that they want then they try and steal it. Don't be a seagull!
Alex: So if I can't just advertise what I do or pick up work on offer, how does that help me?
Sunni: This is all about building relationships. People love it when you’re interested in them first. They’ll think you’re a really genuine person and when you post something about what you’re doing, they’ll ask you about it. Its all about trust and knowing you're not going to dump on them or steal from them.
Alex: OK, I'm getting the idea. And then what?
Sunni: When people get to know you, and they like you and the work you do, they’ll be happy to refer clients to you.
Alex: Doesn’t that take a long time?
Sunni: Not if you’re talking to 100s of people at the same time.
Alex: WHAT?!
Sunni: In a group with several hundred members only a few will actively engage with you but the rest watch and see how you interact, see what you do, get to know your talents, your values, your personality and that you’re a trusted person, so referrals come from them too.
Alex: No business cards? No elevator pitches? No kickbacks?
Sunni: No. Just conversations with people you probably end up making friends with.
Alex: Wow. How do I get started?
Sunni: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/3143015/
